Event #54: Sunday, April 25, 2010

I don’t know whether to call this one a dream or an “event”. Bob says “event”, and I will explain why in a moment. I was having trouble sleeping last night. I was up for quite a bit between 3 and 5 am. I was listening to “Coast to Coast”, but it was a topic that did not interest me very much about the French Foreign Legion. I guess it should interest me, and once I realized I just had to turn the radio up a tad to hear it over the sound of the creek coming in the open window, I actually did find it kind of interesting. I also kept having what I can only call “wide-awake” dreams. I was awake – I know that because I was having conscious thoughts – but then on top of being awake, I was also dreaming. Then something very odd happened. I think I did fall asleep, but after I told Bob about it, he thinks this happened awake. It was during the Dean Edell program that comes on at 5 AM, Sunday morning. I was having this sensation that caused a feeling of what I can only describe as intense “loss-of-control panic”. I was hurtling along through space (somewhere) like hyperspace; my body being propelled by a force that seemed to speed me up as I sped along. The feeling of this was sheer panic. You know that you have no control to stop it, and you don’t know how it is going to end. It was like suddenly finding yourself on an out of control amusement ride at top speed, that is now going faster and faster and you can’t even see what is flying by you on the sides, and all you can envision in your head is the ghastly end to this “ride”. In the “dream”, I screamed at Bob at the top of my lungs, but I think I also audibly cried out; I am surprised I didn’t wake him up. I think my audible cry woke me up. What I screamed was “BOB, WHERE ARE WE GOING???? !!!!!”. And the intensity of this cry was as if you are yelling out while being swept up into a tornado. I was in complete panic; I knew I was on a ride that I didn’t know where or how it was going to end. Bob must have been right along with me, because I looked at him – maybe it had ended at this point, because he was still – I think – but all he could do was point at his throat to indicate that he could not speak. He was adamantly conveying this idea though, not just a casual “point”, but thrusting his fingers toward his throat while mouthing silently that he had no ability to speak out loud. I was still in sheer terror. His head was partially intact but part of it was burning off from the friction of “the ride”, I guess, and bone was starting to show through. This sent me into even more of a panic, and then I “awoke”. Oh my god, I can’t describe how completely disorienting this “passage” through this worm-hole is or whatever it is that is happening. So I conveyed this “dream” to Bob when we both got up later – because I did finally fall back to sleep and got up much later in the morning. And he said that his first three or so times “going back in time”, had felt like that. But when he got to the end, he had been “there”. There in 1600 time. He said the first time it happened to him, which I guess if I look at the previous notes would have been back on March 8th, he really thought it meant he was dying. That he was having some hideous neurological event like a stroke or a brain aneurysm, or hemorrhage and that “this was it”. That this is what death would feel like. Well, I guess I can say that I’ve now experienced the “travel” part of the journey, but not the destination part. It changes your view of things, to put it mildly. Oh, and I forgot to mention. I asked Bob when we got up if he’d had any experiences last night. He’s been a little mum about talking about it lately, and he hesitated now.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because of this dream I had”, And I then conveyed the “dream” above, and I couldn’t stop crying while I was describing it; I don’t really know why, it was all just still so fresh in my mind, and it had created such a feeling of panic and loss of control that was so alarming.

“Well, that’s interesting, because she was there”, he said.
“When was that, what time?” I wanted to know.
“Sometime between 4:30 and 5:30 AM”, said Bob.

And my “experience” had probably occurred around 5:20-5:30 AM. I’m wondering if I’m being “tested” for fitness for travel. I then asked Bob why he didn’t tell me about this part before – the travel part. It seemed like it was a pretty critical part of the “experience”, at least for me it would have been…
He said it was because when he got to where he was “going”, he’d totally forgotten about it, because of the overwhelming effect of where he now was. Which was geographically where we still are, but time-wise, 400 years ago.

The only thing that Bob has told me that is new in the past couple of weeks happened last night, around the time I was having my “incident”.  It was then that she asked Bob if he was interested in learning his history. He says that he cannot vocalize an answer, but in his head he answered, although somewhat hesitantly, “yes”. Today he expresses some trepidation about how this might go, and the fact that he essentially agreed to it. I’m a little nervous about that too. Given what she can “do”, a history lesson could be quite an adventure in time, one might think. And now, every time I lay down into bed, I’ll be thinking about whether I’m in for a ride…

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