Event #72: Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Nothing happened all weekend. Saturday morning, I had put the flowers in a jar of water, and they sprang back, and as of this morning, there was still a little “Pooh” glass of wildflowers up there on the dresser. I also wrote her a note to say “Thank you”, only I wrote it in Lenape by using the translator on “talk-lenape.org”. It is: wanìshi. And I laid a wildflower identification book in front of the “vase” of flowers. It’s hard to know how to react to any of this, but I did think that appreciation was probably appropriate. So tonight, Bob called me and said there was a “change” on the bureau. And also that Joe was beside himself. I should mention that poor hapless Joe seems beside himself most of the time now – he just does not know what to make of any of this, and I picture him witnessing a couple earrings drifting across the room with nothing attached to them, or flowers coming in with no apparent support – and of course all the myriad of other things that have occurred for the past 6 months now. Although, I do wonder if she might actually be visible to animals. Bob has mentioned that he can only “sense” her presence here, but “there” he can see her. So he knows what she looks like. I was very anxious to see what the “change” was. “Does it involve the paper-dolls”? I had asked. “Yes”, he stated. “Is it interpretable”? I wondered… meaning can we figure out some kind of meaning from the arrangement on the dresser? And sure enough, you can. I will photograph it in the morning. My doll-character is moved all the way to the other side of the dresser, and I am positioned next to the “Pooh” vase of flowers. She, the angel, is sitting next to me, also in front of the flower-vase, but facing more towards Bob. I don’t mean Bob the paper-doll, but Bob if he was laying in the bed.

Nuttah acknowledges my thanks for the wildflowers

And across the wildflower book, are arranged the 2 hearts pointing toward Bob, as if she meant to say that both of us – me and her – have the same feeling about him. She’s always just used herself to represent that, putting the angel on the bureau and then a little trail of hearts pointing towards Bob in the bed. I have inserted a picture here; note the 2 hearts laid across the Wildflower book. You can see the little cup of wildflowers behind the “me” character and her “sitting-angel” character.

This all seems so strange to be writing about. I am floating between the world of this is not normal, and then writing the “events” as if it’s all just a matter of everyday life. It’s beginning to feel more like everyday life rather than bizarre and strange. And that by itself is kind of bizarre and strange, if one were to let themselves dwell on it, but… I guess I won’t. The paper dolls have proved to be interesting. I was not sure about that, and it took me awhile to bring that idea out, and actually do it – I actually did have thoughts of maybe NOT doing it because of what we may learn. I don’t know why – afraid perhaps of what we may learn. And then of course there was the possibility that she would just ignore them, or not understand them – but it has been really interesting. One other interesting thing. Bob made it clear to me this weekend that I would be going on one of the journeys at some point. That my experiences so far had been “partial”, but not an entire journey. She is afraid for me I think. Maybe I can’t make it. Maybe I won’t come back. Maybe I won’t be ABLE to – all of those thoughts have crossed my mind, along with “maybe it’s not real”, but that is the least prevalent of the thoughts. I have no idea at this point what “real” means anymore. I have to go to bed. I did not get much sleep last night, and I was pretty exhausted all day.

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