Event #105: September 20, 2010

Tonight when I got home, I went upstairs to see if there were any changes. Nothing on the dresser, nothing anywhere else, except… for the first time in a long time, there were words in the NOTEBOOK. There was one word in the notebook, I should say, but spelled 10 different ways.

One word in the notebook, spelled 10 different ways; it means: "I am afraid"

See the picture I have added here. I plugged it into a search engine, and oddly, for the first time in ALL this time, one of the results was a Lenape to English dictionary. I had used, in quotes, “Lenape and Ntalemi”. Why haven’t I found this dictionary with all my searching before? I saved it. In fact, I am going to PRINT it. I was always finding that one site, “talk-lenape.org”, and I think I have mentioned that you can only put a very literal English phrase in to get a Lenape word. And of course, I don’t have the English word, I always have the Lenape word, which is the opposite of what most people would need. So anyway, I found this PDF dictionary, after what, 8 months? Maybe it’s new. I doubt it, but you never know.

The word Bob wrote is ominous. It, unfortunately, confirms some things he’s been saying for more than the last month. The feeling of foreboding that he’s been having. The feeling of doom, of danger, of something bad. The word is “ntalëmi”. And here is the definition in the new dictionary that I found:

ntalëmi [dɑləmi] = “I am afraid, I feel fear”

I will scan the page tomorrow morning.

My email about it to Bob: I found the definition of what you wrote down, but before I tell you, what was the context? Was it here or there? And describe the process that goes on as you write each variation of the word — is she correcting you, or are you just hearing it slightly differently every time she pronounces it? If I am getting visions at all now, I am getting jumbles of them, and they are not decipherable, at least not by my limited brain. It would be like looking at a scene of something totally new to you but in motion, and in a single color. It’s hard to grasp. And it might not even be something “outside” of me either. Anyway, I am anxious to hear what happened last night.

And Bob’s to me: It was at our place. It is difficult to say exactly how this comes across. I hear it very clearly, but I don’t understand most of the time. There was a great deal of “background” noise last night, I have no idea what it was, never heard that before. Nuttah repeats things many times and I keep hearing and writing until something clicks, sort of like “that looks right“. She used to have to be much more pedantic. But this was a very worrisome visit, I have had this overall sense of concern that something is going on with her and it isn’t good. Last night didn’t change that. She seemed, I don’t know if I am getting this right, but I sensed fear, I think. But I don’t know of what or if I even am reading the sense correctly.
And you are getting things, this is very real, try to see what is going through your vision. I cannot do that, I hear her.
Were you there when it happened, did you see me writing? What time was it?
I am getting worried, but I don’t know what to do.

Me: I will certainly keep trying on the visions, I really do work at it, but it is SO hard to grasp even something. They just come too fast and furious, all in a jumble of monotone color, not with the clarity of those flashes of the garden, the insect, the bird, and the turtle. Nothing decipherable for me, but I will keep trying. Imagine smoke coming out of a fire, and you think that you see shapes and visions in it, but as soon as you think you’ve identified something, the swirl has turned into a different shape, and then changes again. That is what it is like. The word/phrase she was saying to you means:  “I am afraid”. So what you are picking up is fear. But what is it about? We don’t know. But we need to find out, if we can. I was not there when it happened, I came home, and came up around 10, I think, and the words were there. I’ll attach the picture. So if I hung up with you around 8:30 or so, it was in the next hour and a half. By the way, for the FIRST time in all the searches for language that I have done, I found last night a Lenape to English dictionary. Where was this before?? I don’t know. Here is the result: ntalëmi [dɑləmi] = I am afraid/I feel fear.

And Bob to me: That is what I was afraid it would be, something in that vein. I have no idea what or where, or worse, what I can do about it. I am afraid she is asking for help and I cannot do anything. That is a horrible feeling. I have been concerned for awhile, this makes it worse. Ktaholel AwupAn’na


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