More from September 30, 2010

The purple asters then revived in a cup of water. They don't grow quite like this in our yard, but they are here in a different variety.

Bob: Wow, that is great that she is making progress with communicating with you. Very nice that you received the flowers and that she knew their significance to you. It is a very pleasant thought that she gave them to you while you were right there. I’m sure she touched you too. She always does, she is very affectionate. That is nice, but I am not glad that you had the sense of sadness too, I don’t know what to do. I do think you may have woken me up once saying “oh God”, I think around 3 AM. Sounds like your night was similar to my travel night. Pretty strange.
Sounds like we might be ok on the rain. I hope so.
I am very happy for you in regard to the flowers, also that I was correct in what I thought I was understanding. These “events” leave me feeling altered and awed for some time. Do you feel that way at all? ktaholël AwupAn’na and all our kids

Me: I know, it’s really cool. When (what time?) was your ‘conversation’ with her, that you got the sense of the flowers? I woke up feeling really disoriented/altered, not being sure what was dream and what was reality/things I saw. Very weird. I guess I was asleep when she laid the flowers there. You’ll see them in the bathroom, they’re on the shelf w/toothpaste. Yes, I am altered and definitely awed.

On to the mundane, reality part of our life now: I brought the tarps in, 3 of them, but the 30 x 50 foot one is going back, we need to make a decision about the others. Had to make room for my food shopping trip tonight. Got to get going, ktaholël, awupAn’na

I probably need to elaborate more on what went on last night, but I don’t know what it was. I just know that something was going on, and it was outside of myself. Bob has used the phrase “she’s really pulling”, or maybe “pushing”. That’s what you feel, the pull or push. In my unconscious mind I must resist, because my unconscious cries out when she does it while I’m asleep. I think she was trying to “bring me there” last night. I felt the pull, I felt the pressure, whatever that is, and then you have weird dreams around it as you try to incorporate what is going on into your sleep. So odd. What weird disorienting nights when that happens, and Bob has actually ‘gone’ there. I guess in some real way I do have a fear of it. Well, I guess in some real way that is totally normal. My fear of course boils down to not being able to “come back”. I’d be stuck there. Or stuck in some sort of ‘in-between’ where I’m not there and I’m not here. And without the consciousness that is what we have in our physical body here, that physical body would not be necessary anymore. Sometimes, I imagine that people go on drug-induced trips, and then they “decide” not to come back to their physical body. But it doesn’t end there. That is one thing that I have become convinced of with all of these events, the continuance of consciousness after our physical body is no more. Soon I will add the stories of Kate’s experiences with her friend Sally who passed away a couple of years ago from breast cancer. Sally keeps visiting Kate, Sally has found a way to “come through” the barrier. And in ways that you would not believe.

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