Archive for October, 2010

October 30, 2010

More on Event 128: Sat. October 30, 2010

Today is our 28th wedding anniversary, and this day looks similar to the day that we got married in 1982. It is cooler though – our wedding day was very warm, thankfully, as the reception was outside – but foliage-wise, it looks the same as that day. I have made Bob a card with the words inside written in Lenape – as close as I could approximate the sentiment that I was trying to convey, using the English-Lenape dictionary.

I still have to mention something about the “sleep” connection. In the previous post, in Bob’s email to me about Nuttah and the puppies joining him on the deck, she says “Why do we sleep away from the ground? Never did we do that.” It’s interesting to me that she chose to ask something about ‘sleep’. I’ve been conveying – or at least trying to convey to her – a question at night about sleep. It stems from my desire to “go there”, and I thought that if I “asked” a very specific question, maybe she would “show” me the answer. So what I do is ask the question visually – as visually as I can imagine to do it. I picture myself with her, and I point to her, and then take my hands and lay them to the side of my head, with my head pretending to lie down. I have not yet “received” back an answer to this question, but it is interesting that she chose to comment on the way that we sleep. I guess to a Lenape, that is a curious thing we do: why do we sleep away from ground?

They call this Porta-ledge camping. The only thing that would get me to do this is if I thought some wild animal would attack on the ground. Photo: Louie Psihoyos/Corbis

And coincidentally, Microsoft’s “bing” search-engine home page picture the next day was this one to the right. This odd way of camping, called porta-ledge camping, I believe, gives new meaning to “sleeping away from ground.” This is somewhere out near the Pacific. What I’m wondering, is how would I deal with my nightly trip to the bathroom??

On another note, I noticed every time I was awake last night that she was “there”. The noise in my (left) ear was with me every single time I got up, or even woke up, including when I got up for the day. Bob verified that; he had “sensed” her there as well, and that she was there in the morning.

I asked, “How can she spend so much time away?”

And the answer was that she doesn’t – she is there and here also. This particular morning we woke up together, and I told Bob that I heard the noise in my ear now. He thought for a minute and didn’t say anything, and then said she wasn’t there. I was beginning to get a little concerned that the sound I heard was not “her” after all. But then Bob went downstairs before me, and I heard him shout out over the sound of running water as I brushed my teeth. I turned off the water to hear what he was saying.

“I just felt a rush of air go past me on the steps”, he was saying. “She was down here!”

So she’d been downstairs. I hear the hum either way, I guess. Upstairs or downstairs. Or maybe even when she is at “her place” too.

October 28, 2010

Event #128: Thursday, October 28, 2010

I’m really tired tonight. I really just want to go to bed. I had the 2nd of my four-series rabies shots tonight (luckily, this time only ONE needle) but my butt is still sore from Monday and I still have to go back two more times and suffer through that whole way-too-lengthy-ER-ordeal. Oh well, things could be worse. Oh, and have I mentioned, little OIN! looks fine?!?

Unhappy, quarantined, seemingly NOT-rabid "OIN".

I took a picture of him in the middle of a “yowl!” inside his quarantine cage. He’s not happy, but neither am I! I know I have used this picture in a prior post, but it warrants reinserting. I really just need to go to bed, it’s after 11, but I simply must get this updated, and Bob sent me a really interesting email that he wrote tonight and then we talked about it later. I called him from the hallway walking back to work from the ER, and he said to read my email before I call him back. And then this is what I had in my email:

Bob: I am sitting on the deck witnessing one of the most amazing events. I am here with Nuttah and five K-9’s [canines]. All of them playing and sniffing each other. All seem to think nothing unusual. Duke, Stupe and 2 Teme (the 2 wolves) just took off into the yard. The interaction is so obvious that I feel as though I see Teme and I know Nuttah is smiling at me with joy. It is one of the most remarkable and emotional occurrences I have had in months. Nuttah is sitting with me, I can see the amber to white energy or whatever it is, not always, but I see it for a moment and then it blurs and disappears. She is just so overjoyed that you now know when she is here. I am sensing tears of happiness when she communicates this. This is so unbelievable, puppies are back on the deck now. Duke just took them in the house. Hope they don’t mark territory, they’re not fixed. Here they come again on the deck, unreal. All are over at Wobbles now. Nuttah said she won’t take me to her place anymore unless absolutely necessary; too hard on me, she says. What do you mean, necessary? If they need me. Getting fear sensation. Don’t like that.
She is very, very happy to be with An’na. Happy you are ok. She was very upset. Spent time in ritual dance for you, many hours. She loves An’na and misses her, unbelievable. This is amazing. Why do we sleep away from ground? Never did we do that. You are home, stay. This is you. You belong. Ktaholeh An’na, Nuxa.

When I did call Bob after this, all I could say was “wow”. What else do you say? He elaborated a bit on this episode as we talked. He said that as he sat there, even though he couldn’t “see” them, it felt as if he could see the wolf-puppies playing with the other dogs because of the way all of them behaved and interacted with each other. They were all dancing around on the deck the way dogs play with each other. Bob described the quick-jumpy movements they make, and the tails wagging, just as if two other dogs were there interacting with and playing with them. Then Duke took everybody in the house for a “tour” of the inside of the house to show them around – well, at least the wolves. Stupe stayed outside with Bob. Wobbles was tied up as we have to do now because of jumping the fence. I asked Bob if he thought the dogs could see the wolves? “YES, absolutely!” was the answer. He said there was no doubt about that at all. How come no growling, no sounds? I wondered. “No idea”. I asked if he thought they could see her? “I don’t think so, but they’re so focused on the puppies, that I think they don’t notice”, he answered. Bob could “see” her, or at least see something sitting beside him as kind of an amber energy field. He described what he saw as kind of an electrical energy.

And then when I got home, I went up to change as I always do, before I sit down to the computer to do whatever, and I did not have my “hearing-sense” of her there. At least not then. However, later, when I went up to actually go to bed, she was definitely there, but I had no visions. Bob wrote this email this morning, relating to his experience of last night.

Bob: Disorienting night, I just never have any idea what to expect when I come home, certainly wasn’t expecting an evening like last night. I’m glad Nuttah understands that this type of thing can be disruptive. I slept last night, but it was not restful, restless is more appropriate a description. It was all just good fun for our idiot dogs. Interesting neighborhood we live in. Back to my mundane reality.

October 27, 2010

Event #127: Wed., October 27, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010
These emails were written Wednesday morning:
Bob: I don’t know about you but I had a lousy night of sleep. Kept waking up sweating. Up for good at 2:45. Summer is like baseball, way too long. How is that stupid cat, Oin, doing this morning? How are you? Is this a vaccination that you are getting? It doesn’t matter if you weren’t exposed to a rabid cat? It isn’t going to be of any harm, right?

Me: I had a lousy night too, also hot! — imagine — at one point I had only the sheet on me, and had a stink bug under my pillow. Alive. Rained all morning too.
Yes, I am getting a vaccination –
I said to the nurse, “What is it?”
“Rabies Vaccine!” she bellows. God, now the whole ER can hear.
“I know, but what”s in it?”, I asked, emphasizing the word ‘in’.
“What do you mean, I just told you!” (this nurse was kind of a shouter)
“I mean what is it made of?”
“I don’t know! Nobody ever asked me that! That’s a good question! Do you want me to go find out?!” she shouts.
“No, no, that’s okay, I’ll look it up when I get home”, I say resignedly.
God forbid, I could be there another 3 hours while she finds out. Anyway, no risk to it (I looked it up), no risk of getting rabies from vaccine, they give it routinely to people in high-risk jobs – -vets, animal workers, etc. And I feel okay. I’ll go check on “OIN”. He looked alright from the window. Might be a little damp.

A different view of the characters on my bedside table, shooting from above

BTdubs, Nuttah was there quite a bit when I first went to bed, after you left, I didn’t “hear” her anymore. I had a weird vision that looked like my life flashing in front of my eyes. Just pictures moving by so fast I couldn’t focus on any one of them. So I guess it could have been anyone’s life.
I’ve attached the picture I took of the arrangement of us on my bedside table – I came home to this the night of my ER encounter, and the night you said she was asking about me.

Bob: I did notice Nuttah there at one point when I woke, but wasn’t aware of her when I finally gave up and got up. I kind of miss the more interesting contact, but not so much the trips.

Me narrating: In case it isn’t really clear what is going on with the picture, Nuttah’s character sits looking at Bob & me. The big flowered heart points toward us. My character can barely be seen, as I’m pointing inward. Behind me, I have rubber-banded the “sweat-lodge” paper image, it supports my character, as I was beginning to flop over. Kind of how I feel in real-life right now too.

October 26, 2010

Event #126: Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I had this thought while jogging with Wobbles today that what I hear in my ear is more like a buzz, like a hummingbird might make, a low vibrating sound. Think “Tinkerbell” perhaps, buzzing at my ear to let me know she’s there. I must insert the picture I’m taking this morning; Bob mentioned in an email of today that she had expressed concern for my welfare (this must have had something to do with nurse Ratchet coming at me with the 4 big-ass needles in the ER) and the arrangement on my side-table echoes that concern. It’s quite cute actually.

Roughly what I see in my "closed-eye" vision

When I closed my eyes last night, after sensing the vibration I have come to know as “her”, I immediately saw a bright light, a pin prick of light in my vision, but bright as a star above. OH! I get it! Duh – the star!! SHE is the STAR – ‘the beautiful day star’. Oota Dabun Hurit. Boy, sometimes it takes me a long time to get stuff. My brain is turning to sludge. (credit to a sight called “ for the use of this star picture)

Nuttah sits facing me, and we're all pulled tighter in together. The big heart faces us too

Last night (after my ER ordeal with the rabies shots), Nuttah has turned her character-self to face me, Bob is turned further in, and the big flowered heart in the lower left is pointing at me. This whole little set-up is on my bedside table. I think she felt some true concern for what might have been going on with me, either actually witnessing the event (did I sense her there a little?) or picking up on my feelings of anxiety over the whole thing. Bob verified this when I talked to him from work Tuesday night – “I distinctly heard ‘An’na’… and then felt a strong sense of concern. I tried to ‘tell’ her that it was all okay, I just thought “An’na is okay”, and I got the sense that she understood”.

Here is Bob’s email to me this morning:

We had a visit from Nuttah last night, she seemed to know something was up with An’na. I don’t think she knew what, but I had a strong sense of concern. I tried to convey that all was ok, not sure if I was successful or not. I assume she was likely there at some other point in the night.

And mine to Bob:
I did sense that Nuttah was there last night, when I went to bed, I heard the vibration, when I woke up sometime after you were gone, I sensed her there then as well. I get a few things when I shut my eyes, but nothing I can remember or fix on. I did write up kind of a “scene” from the night before. I don’t get the senses that you get… like the “strong sense of concern”. I can’t “feel” anything from her like you do, just sense that she is there… so far, I guess, or as far as I can tell. I came home around 10 tonight, it’s nice to hear the crickets again. I hadn’t even realized that for awhile there I wasn’t hearing crickets & night bug sounds. Anyway, it has warmed up a bit again, and they are back. ktaholël, awupAn’na

October 25, 2010

Event #125: Monday, October 25, 2010

I wrote this email to Bob this morning:
I didn’t sleep well either. Lost a good 3 and a half hours of sleep. I had the sense she was there for a lot of it (like when you got up?), also when I went to bed. But nothing else happened, maybe some weird liquid motion images. At one point during the night, I had what I would call a “vision”, but it was so quick and so instantaneous, that I really have no sense what it was, except again, this one was in motion. Like a moving scene. Sort of like looking at something outside, and there is motion in it, something moving from left to right, but you see it so quickly, you have no idea what it was. And unlike my last “motion” scene, this one was not white-on-grey, it was normal outside colors, like it was a “real” scene. The things in it, immediate as the impression was, looked “real” also, not like representational images as the last one had looked.

Bob verified later that day that she had in fact “been there” during those periods that I had sensed it. I am now getting this hum/vibration in my ear when she is there. I have described this before: it is sort of like an electrical hum – or maybe more like the lowest string on a bass fiddle being dragged over by the bow very softly – and kind of loud/soft, loud/soft: an undulating sound. This sound is how I have come to know that she is “there”. I think this may have become apparent to me, because finally, after a long, hot summer and fall, it has cooled down enough that we can finally retire the air conditioner, and even sometimes sleep with the fans off. Hallelujah. It is quiet. Well, it is quiet because THOSE motors are silenced… and now, I can pick up this vibration sound that may have been there all along!

The Quarantined, potentially rabid, outdoor cat "OIN". He is NOT happy. However, he is not the one getting the rabies shots. This picture is titled, "OIN says Waah"

Tonight, when I came home from a harrowing day (Four freakin’ hours in the ER because of my first day of rabies shots – I think I may have been exposed through the outdoor cat “Oin”)… I went upstairs and there are changes on the dresser and my bedside table. It involves her stone – a heart – a turtle charm – Bob, me & Nuttah on the table, and the big heart charm. Those are the things that I noticed have moved. If I have time tomorrow, I will take some pictures. I must go to bed, my butt hurts like hell from the 4 stinkin’, big-ass syringes, and I’m tired from lack of sleep. It has been a long day. And I have 3 more ER visits for these shots looming in the immediate future. Stupid Oin. He probably doesn’t even have rabies.

October 21, 2010

Event #124: Thursday, October 21, 2010

Our emails of this morning:

Me: I’m pretty sure we had a visitor last night, both when I went to bed 12:30-ish, and later, I woke up and had a pretty clear vision. This one was again odd, kind of a white-on-grey look; I thought my eyes were open (that’s how clear this was), but they weren’t. It was a white flying bird, sort of a dove shape, or more just representational of a bird. In this vision, things were moving, rather than just a still image, which is what I usually get. There were other shapes/things in the image, maybe a turtle, and some other animals. I don’t have a clear idea of what they were. The whole scene moved from left to right, the bird kind of overlapping or moving faster than the things behind it, and sometimes obscuring them, maybe that’s why I don’t have that clear idea of what they were. It’s like trying to remember everything in a picture you only saw once. I guess the interpretation is that of a white bird flying across a sky background, with other objects behind it. Think white paper cut-outs on a gray sky, the whole thing was kind of 1-dimensional. Oh, and also, the wolves and silver heart are on the dresser again, not your side table.

Bob: I moved the puppies, and you are correct in your interpretation. Nuttah woke me at about 10 something. I “asked” about the birdie. It has to do with history/mythology and acceptance. It is a good thing. You were being shown a sort of truncated “history in pictures”. She mentioned she would be back frequently last night and for the next few nights to see An’na. Have fun. I love you AwupAn’na

Me: Yeah, remember I read in that “Horse Boy” book that the sighting of the white ibex by the travelers into Outer Mongolia meant they were being accepted by the “spirits” of the area; it was a good thing. The fact that it was white was what was important. I will find the quote from the book. The author also clearly draws a parallel between the nomads he meets there in 2008 with our Native Americans of today, and they used Teepees, not the traditional house called a “ger” of the Mongolians. I did have other visions besides that one I described, but none were as clear or concise — I went to sleep with the swirly moving colors that I sometimes get that indicated to me she was there. But this time accompanied by the loud hum. The hum was there a lot last night. I love you, awupAn’na

Later same day:

I talked to Bob tonight from work, and he verified that the white bird that he’s been seeing, over and over now at the same intersection, has been “shown” to him. This was verified last night in that “10 something” email. And then I had my white bird “sighting” last night. So is anyone else seeing the bird that Bob sees at this intersection or is it just Bob? Is it really just there for him? And if so… why there?? Very Curious. I drive through the same intersection twice a day too… never seen anything, as far as I know. Must be something about it though. (It is quite near the Neshaminy Creek… )

Also, there is a change tonight on the dresser . Bob’s wolves are arranged with the Oaxacan rabbit to their right, and her special stone is in front of them. I don’t know the significance of this one at all. I think the rabbit plays somehow into the whole thing – I had one show up on my desk, and one still sits on our vanity mirror top, where it was moved from… can’t remember where. Downstairs somewhere I believe.

October 20, 2010

Event #123: Wed., October 20, 2010

Excerpts of our emails back and forth this morning:
Bob to me: I don’t know whether this stuff counts as an event or not but I will say it is extremely disorienting. I was driving in heavy fog most of the way in this morning. When I came up to ‘that intersection’,  it was very foggy. And out of the fog, you guessed it, my GIANT WHITE BIRD flew just above the traffic lights. Completely startled me to the point that I had to pull over and stop for a moment to get reoriented. Bird. I don’t know wth this bird is or what it is doing out at that hour of the morning, but I have seen it enough times now over this intersection to tell there is a pattern forming. I’m observant.

Me: Did you have any sense of her in our room last night? I was getting that hum/vibrating energy again, it was waking me up. Maybe around 2:30 or so. Also, she was moved back from my lamp-base to stand between us again. I don’t know when that happened, but some time after yesterday morning. Do you have any idea what kind of bird it is that you’re seeing? It is very odd that it’s out in the dark. I suspect that it’s possible that you are the only one that is seeing it. I’ll keep my eyes open at night when I drive through there. Let me know if you sensed if she was there last night.

Bob: Yes, she was there, I felt the same thing around the same time. Closer to 2:15. The figure was on the lamp base when I went to bed. I don’t do much more than just acknowledge her presence when she comes at night now. I just usually “think things” to let her know I’m glad she is there. I don’t say anything to you all the time so I can see if you knew without my influence. The focus is not on me, at the moment anyway. The bird is big; long neck like a swan. Night flying is unusual, I think, especially in the fog. But what do I know, geese fly at night, I have seen that.

Me: So I guess now I have a signal that is her presence — the hum. I will become more aware of it, or maybe she is making herself more obvious. I also closed my eyes and got lots of activity, but nothing I can say anything clear about. Jumbled stuff, but stuff nevertheless. When I heard you get up, and I was sensing that she was also there, I was trying to transmit pictures to her that now might be a good time to take us to “her time” together. But maybe that’s a bit much. I’ll show you this weekend some pictures of birds, I wonder if it can even be identified in “our” time.

Tonight, when Bob and I talked on the phone, he described in more detail what went on with that bird, again, for about the fifth time, appearing at an odd hour over the same intersection each time. What is it about that intersection?? He said it was really foggy (still was when I got up much later) and this bird entered the intersection at a very low height, literally right over him, and he said with the street lights and the fog, it had this “glow” around it, and appeared even larger. He estimates it to have about a 5 foot wing span.

When I came home tonight, everything is on my bedside table the way it was when I left, but Bob’s is different: the “wolves” and the heart have been moved to the bureau, but his special stone remains on his table. I think this must have happened since we talked on the phone around 9 tonight, because I specifically asked if anything in the room was different, and he said no, and I do believe Bob would have noticed that.

October 19, 2010

Event #122: Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Curious, this morning, I tried to hear the hum, especially in the bathroom, and nothing. The best I can describe it is as almost a sort of energy field. Like standing under high-tension power lines, the type that can light up a florescent tube without being connected to anything. A power source, an energy. Perhaps it means she is in the room. The other idea that came to my head (can’t really explain why) was that perhaps the tribe was having some kind of ceremony at that moment, and the energy/power being created by that was being transmitted to “our time”. Who knows. It’s not there now. When I went up to bed, “she”, her character, was moved from the lamp-base where I had put her back to where Bob’s and my characters are: right between us. That was the only discernable change.

October 18, 2010

Event #121: Monday, October 18, 2010

Excerpts of Bob’s and my emails back and forth this morning:

Bob: Stewie texted asking if we put papers in his room?? Did he get served papers?

Me: What kind of papers? I didn’t put anything out there, I haven’t opened the door since the day the appraisers were here. I’ll find out this morning. I think Stewie wants to have some of the experience that we are; maybe he is.

Me again: huh. It was Stewie”s PAPER DOLL character. It’s sitting on his bedside table. I’m going to go up to our room and see if Kate is still in the drawer. You know, yesterday I opened the drawer upstairs in our bedroom, and the two of them were still in there. And she only took the doll, not the stone he was rubber-banded to. Stewie says it happened while he was gone yesterday. So, he gets his wish, now he is involved.

Bob: If it was there when you opened the drawer then it happened after we left yesterday. Good, I hope Stewie is scared. Remember how he was scared of ghosties on his paper route? He’ll be moving inside sooner than expected!

Me: I think this is, that we know of, the first time that Stewie has been directly involved in any of the movement of stuff. Funny thing is, when I just went out there with him to see where “he” was placed, he said he “knew something was up when he came home last night”. Or he felt something. And there “he” was; his doll character, laying on his bedside table, without the stone. I guess he became dis-attached from the stone. Kate is still upstairs in the drawer. So now, of the stuff I put in the drawer last week, she is now the only thing that remains in there. I don’t think Stewie is “scared”, maybe just as intrigued as we are.

Bob: I told him he could have the dollhouse to play with if he wants. Maybe you could get some cut out clothes for him to dress his doll up !

Now me narrating: So this is the first time, that we know of, that Stewie has been involved in such a direct, communication-type way. Interesting new development, and an appropriate way to start Part VI.

I had an opportunity to talk to Stewie a little later about it, after I confirmed that what he had in his room was his paper doll character, and he was not served papers. (Thank goodness). This is how he described coming home last night. He’d come home kind of late, I forget the time already, but he’d worked a double and it was after midnight. First, I should probably explain that Stewie’s bedroom originally was more or less a shed on the property; it’s an out-building separate from the house, back by the creek and the wall. When we moved here, we had it outfitted as a home office, which got destroyed in the flood of Ivan, 6 years ago. Since then, it never became an office again, but Stewie, after he came home from college, eyed it up as great bedroom potential. So that it became. Back to Stewie today: he said that as he approached the door to his room, he had an odd feeling, and said he began to feel chills. Tingling on his arms and the back of his neck. A feeling I have become very familiar with: how many times have I walked up the stairs in the back of the house to our bedroom, and found something out of place, and I just get such a chill. Looking up and finding the ducks moved – or the daisy heart – or the turtle on the dresser, the characters moved all over the room, a sprig of wildflowers or even an entire branch – yeah, I know about these “chills”. He said he “pushed through it” though, and entered his room, feeling the hair raise on the back of his neck. He didn’t see it right away, but about ½ a minute later when he spotted it, he knew what the chills were about – there was his character on his bedside table. I would not be surprised though if she was actually there at that time, maybe that is the feeling he was picking up.

Another thing happened this morning that I was just reminded of, since I just got home and went upstairs. I had awakened this morning to a very loud hum/vibration coming through my ear that was on the pillow. In fact it was this hum that woke me up. I thought there was a big truck idling somewhere outside, or an oil truck making a delivery. It was that kind of sound, and the vibration of that can travel like that too. It sounded really close, so I got up to make sure it was not in our driveway, because we had not ordered oil. I didn’t see anything and by the time I came downstairs, the hum was gone. But now I’m just getting home from work;  it’s now about 10:45 PM, and I went upstairs to the bedroom to change. And I can hear the hum in the bedroom again, and it is really loud. Only I don’t think it’s in the room itself, I think it’s in my head when I’m in there. But why? As soon as I left that part of the house, walked through the door, and now I’m over here, I don’t hear it at all. I took 2 Advil on the way home cause I have a toothache, and I thought maybe it was the medication, but that would only make sense if I heard it here and there. But I don’t. It’s pretty extreme over there, but I don’t see anything amiss. Bob did comment on Joe being all out of sorts tonight, but the new (new to us anyway) wood stove was installed back there today and the stove/chimney guy was there for a couple of hours, and then left all the doors wide open, which had to have freaked Joe out more than usual. I will be curious to find out if the hum starts again when I go to bed. I won’t be able to sleep with that noise in my head.

October 17, 2010

Event #120: Sunday, October 17, 2010

This morning I was up in the bedroom putting some clothes away, and I noticed on Bob’s bedside table that the stone was there next to his radio. The stone that she had brought from “her time”. When Bob came up, I asked him if he thought that was new there, or had it been there when all that other stuff had moved on Friday. He said it was new there, that he would have seen it there Friday, or at least Saturday, saying that he looks there at least once a day. So that was a new thing on Sunday. There was nothing else Sunday, except I do think that sometime during the night I sensed her presence at one point, and may have gotten another brief image. Off to bed, I’m really tired.