Event #119: Sunday, October 16, 2010

I did not sleep well last night. Well, the first few hours were okay, til about 2:30 or so. Then I was up for a bit listening to Coast to Coast, which was ghost stories, and then people calling in with their most fearsome situation. Not exactly good stuff to sleep to. But then it started. Shortly before 5 AM I think, I started getting flashes of visions. Bright, clear, obvious visions, but not so obvious that I could tell what they were. I have impressions only. And the first was that of embossed white stationery with black writing on it. Paper with a raised or lowered section on it, like fancy note paper. This was “shown to me” a number of times and in a number of ways, and as it went on, I thought I could focus in on the writing and see it closer – if not what it said, but maybe the language or a word or two. But I never saw it long enough to get that. This was clearly something though that was coming from outside of my head; not a dream, not a thought, not something I would even think about or envision or that was related to anything I was hearing on the radio. In fact, by about 6, I turned the radio off, cause a really annoying infomercial came on. Also, I was awake, not dreaming. Consciously awake. Sometimes the black writing I saw made me think of Roman numerals. Or maybe it was Roman numerals. Something like XVII. When I saw it close, it was a very seriffed, ornate font, always black, always on the embossed white background. When I told these visions to Bob this morning, he suggested that maybe she was asking me a question. Like “What is this?” She has seen Bob’s writing down of her language in the notebook we keep on his bedside table. Perhaps she has also “seen” me doing this – the typing I sit and do here almost every night. (I always type in the “Times New Roman” font).  But that was not the only vision. There were others. Again, the bright ball, which I’m beginning to see is more like kind of “window” into a light area. Sometimes this window is the size of a golf ball, and I see little, but last night the ball seemed to expand a bit in size so I could see more. When it’s a golf ball size, it sometimes brings light to an object that I have no idea what I’m looking at. They seem to be metallic objects, with many features to them, like gears, or coils, or a piece of ancient machinery that I am not familiar with. (Makes me think of a computer game I loved to play years ago called “Riven”). Goldish, and silver; colors of metal things. Not bright and shiny, but duller like brass or bronze. They seem to be round, but that could just be that the window that is shedding the light is round. Is the window shedding the light? Or am I looking through this tiny round hole into a space that is large, and this is just what happens to fill the window space at that time. There were probably many other brief visions that I can’t remember now. Except for this one, which I saw a number of times. It was a colorful little scene that again, I couldn’t focus in on long enough to be able to say, “this was definitely this…” Again, just an impression. A scene, a little scene like a painting or a print, somewhat colorful, but mostly white, characters or objects in colors like red, green, blue, with black edges. If I was to try to draw it out, I might make some long triangular shapes and use a rectangle of color to represent an arm or a leg. And it was just multiple representational shapes like this and they might have moved around, or relocated. The impression of movement though, I think comes from somewhere else. It’s the sensation I get of fluidity, liquid motion, that seems to always be part of these “episodes”.

The 3 characters on my bedside table, the egg and the heart are all pointing at me

I fell asleep after that but when I awoke, I immediately noticed that our three characters, which were still on my bedside table, were now lined up looking right at me. They were placed in line with the blue egg and the heart, pointing right at me in the bed. I couldn’t help wondering if there was some connection there; I was almost certain that there was, having gone to bed almost “knowing” that something was going to happen that night.

Later this morning, I went out jogging again with Wobbles, and had a chance to think more clearly about the events – the images – of last night. It’s the last one that intrigues me; well, they all intrigue me, but this one, I’ve had a hard time remembering, although I am pretty sure she showed it to me a number of times. And I do know that this was her showing something to me. It makes me think of how she is with Bob, with the words or ideas, phrases that she is trying to get across. I have often looked at the page he writes it on, and you see a progression of writing as Bob struggles with hearing the word to try to get it right, and I often wonder (and have asked), what she does here. Is it like a teacher correcting him, and he scribbles out the word, and then writes it a different way:  “No, that’s still not right”, he scribbles it out again, tries again, ’til he gets it right and Nuttah is satisfied that the spelling is now close enough, and I can then go look it up and try to find out what the meaning is. Although when I do that, it is somewhat after the fact. Bob usually knows what it means as she says it; the meaning is conveyed in other ways rather than just the word itself. We are less aware of this I think, I mean we as a society, than the Native Americans were. Anyway, back to the pictures. The picture that she shows me in my head. I think this one came multiple times because I remember seeing it a number of ways, and yet I still didn’t “get” it. I’m thinking a painting – folk-art-like in some ways, characters represented and interpretable but not realism. I don’t know why I’m thinking “painting”. It was a representational scene of something, I believe, and quite intricate in its way. I wish I could see it again. I have left all of “us” lined up on my bedside table; perhaps tonight I will try to bring some more “energy” to my side of the bed somehow, what the hell, I’m willing to give up a good night’s sleep in order to see more. Also… it will be time soon to move to Part VI (6).

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