Event #180: Sunday, February 6, 2011

Nuttah and I seem to be playing this game of “hearts”. (Funny, I play that game a lot on the computer – “Hearts” – it’s a card game) I point one of the hearts at her, and then I come back to my desk and find one pointing at “me”! This has happened 3 times in the past 2 days, including just recently while Bob and I were in the other room.

Overnight: when I laid down last night, which was actually still Saturday night, I heard the “Buzz” in my ear unusually loudly. And it was rhythmic, almost musical (but more or less monotone). When I got up this morning to tell Bob about it, I related it as if I was possibly overhearing (was it “leaking” through?) a ceremony, where they were drumming and doing rhythmic chanting. It kind of had that sound, but I hear it as a vibration. Maybe if you were deaf, and you could feel a vibration or hear a dim vibration of music being performed, but not the music itself, perhaps that is what it would sound like.

Similar to what I see in my vision; this is from "GraphicLeftovers.com"

Then, when I shut my eyes, for the first time in awhile, there were colors and fluidity in my vision; the liquid motion. Bright royal blue blobs, turning to a deep purple blob, sometimes a flash of white brightness. Any color was always in the deep purple to blue range, very fluid. Sometimes, I would also get vision flashes like I was moving through a corridor with windows, and the windows faced out onto something outside of the corridor that I didn’t have time to look at. And then, for the first time, I also had this other sensation as I “looked” into the scene of motion in my closed-eye vision. I felt that if I could train my eyes to focus in a certain way, that within that scene of fluidity, was what I really wanted to be seeing. It was dark, but there seemed to be some stillness to it, like I was looking at a scene on the ground. What it was, I could not make out. All I can really say about it, is that it seemed to be there. And my eye needed to be better trained. Or my brain… one or the other, or perhaps even both. Sometimes, I can’t get away from that sensation that I just don’t have the knowledge or skill to achieve these … That slowly, slowly, she is trying to train me, my brain, to pick up on things. For instance, a year ago, I did not hear that sound at all. And only towards the end of the summer did I begin to pick up the visions. And each time it happens, I try to notice more – is there a difference to the sound this time, am I hearing it somewhere else in the house? Does it have a rhythm, a cadence, and what might that remind me of? Reminding me of something is almost impossible, as these are life experiences that have not happened in this lifetime.

When I sat down at my desk this morning, my character, next to Nuttah to the side of me here was the way I’d left us last night, and I’d pointed all 3 hearts at her. They stayed that way as I sat at my desk all morning, and about an hour ago, I got up and made some breakfast for everybody, and I’m just now getting back here… the silver heart now points at “me”.

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