The ritual to help Niko’s behavior

After the bite incident, Kate continued to recover, and Bob and I were severely admonished for “betraying” Niko. This was evident almost immediately, and I was in complete confusion and denial as to why. How were we betraying Niko? I put it out of my mind, since I thought the way we reacted was appropriate and necessary. I really wasn’t sure what part of it was being objected to. It was literally the first time in 3 years that I’d questioned anything about Nuttah’s judgment. It just didn’t make any sense. Kate was doing well, and in my opinion, that was really all that mattered. We would deal with Niko as time went on, so Bob appealed to Nuttah for help with this odd behavior. It went along the lines of “What is the problem, and what can we do to help him?”

Monday morning, July 8, at 7 AM, Bob wrote me this email:

“I asked again last night, I think I might have had some response: I was shown an intensity of fear that was instantaneous and it just as quickly dissipated. The intensity was shown to me and then equated to my most intense negative emotional moment in my entire life. That was something I didn’t want to relive, I still have a slight hangover from that re-experience. I am not sure that it is anything more than a dream, seems so long since I have had any connection that I doubt myself on this.

Duke with his favorite ball and his reflective collar

Duke with his favorite ball and his reflective collar

It was only initially through Nuttah that I “saw” what was going on and how to approach it. The larger part was through the old joints and Tëme. There is a “ritual”: I have a hard time seeing myself doing it, or at least doing it with sincerity, and that is apparently important. It also involves a talisman from a former embodiment, a necklace or something from Dukey, something that contains some of his energy. I don’t know what that is to be, all we have is his toys, can’t see how I am to tie a ball around Niko or whatever. I feel stupid even writing this. Really can’t see me doing any ritual with sincerity, which sort of defeats the purpose. Anyway, I will try, but can’t believe Niko will walk around with a ball hanging off him willingly.

I may have to do it several times and I certainly won’t be doing it in public. Also, I am supposed to say it in a derivation of Lenape, not completely Lenape, sort of a sacred language that I think contained some Maya words, Manche Chol dialect to be precise. That will be interesting. I guess it could be equated to computer language, writing code to correct or change a program, when I say it that way it doesn’t sound so stupid. Regardless I will try… in private.

Later, same day, at 9:07 AM, my email back to Bob:

“Well, there are two things that might work for this “talisman”, that I came across lately, if I am interpreting this ritual and what it’s about correctly. For one, we have Dukey’s collar; it has his name on it, and I also have a little bag of hair that came from him. Maybe the collar alone would work? If necessary, I could sew a little pouch to it that contained the hair. Does it have to be a ball hanging off him or just something attached to him? Can you describe better what the problem is, what the fear is? I hope this will work. Any contact Niko has with anyone now makes me very nervous, and you can’t get around the fact that he has bitten people in the face three times, at least that we know of. In the past, and without his history as part of what’s going on here, I wouldn’t have tolerated that for a second. I can only rationalize letting him stay because he is somehow part of everything, and seems to be here for a bigger purpose. Because there is simply nothing rational about it, especially three times. But we’ll see how this goes, I wouldn’t assume it was a dream, it sounds good to me. Just start working on it. What do you have to do that would be embarrassing to be seen doing?

Email from Bob, later same morning, 9:37 AM:
We have Dukey’s collar?! Leave it out for me. I was thinking all we had was old toys, couldn’t see that working. Something very traumatizing happened to him at a very young age, equated the level of emotional response to me. I don’t know what it is, but it is extreme. I will start tonight, he has done too much for us, apparently more than we know, to not help him.

Me at 10:49 AM:
Funny, I was just going to get the collar from where I put it and leave it out for you, and it was gone. I had put the collar on the shelves against the wall where my knitting and stuff is. I thought, “Great, just when we need it, it’s gone”. But then I had this thought, “Maybe it is already on Niko?” I went to go check, and as I turned to go, I spotted the collar: it had been moved to the table in front of the big screen TV. Right there, where you couldn’t miss it if watching. Now I was watching something on that TV last night and I think I would have noticed if the collar was sitting there. Anyway, I have it, I’ll leave it out. We’ll work with him. What is it that you have to do?

Bob, later, 11:09 AM:
“So you are saying the collar was moved? We/I have to perform, repeatedly, a ceremony honoring him for all he has done to protect us, to honor him for having given himself up in order to be with us, to honor him for his willingness to die for our safety, to honor him for his willingness to confront his only fear to be among us. Those are the four points I must honor. I have to do this each in proper order to the four cardinal points. I have to do it for 5 cycles. That means once a month. It was also made shamefully clear (having a feeling of shame/embarrassment right now acknowledging this to you) that Nuttahs’ father would never have abandoned or forsaken a friend, nor would any man of honor. Makes me kind of sick to my stomach to acknowledge those feelings. Anyway, I will do what I can. I don’t know that I am capable.”

Well, the bottom line is, that it is worth a try if it can possibly help him.

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