Archive for ‘Dreams’

January 27, 2018

Activity Ramps Up; The Elders Want the Apartment Empty

Well, there is a lot to report. Things have not stopped happening, the problem is that my time to report them is minimal. Considering that each post takes about 45 min. to an hour for me, and there are 505 published posts, well the math adds up to over 500 hrs. of work. That’s a big chunk of time in a working woman’s life. Time excuse aside, I know I owe a lot to ‘catch up’. I would like to… just have to find the time. A list of things to sum up activity over the missing years:

  1. Lois started to knit – and knitting is a very enjoyable activity that often intruded on blog posting.
  2. Things never did stop happening. Just my ability to write it all up and report has been compromised.
  3. The area of the house where it all began in 2009? — we rented it for the last 4 years as an apartment. The 4-year occupant just moved out in December (2017) and son Stewie is about to rent it, starting Feb. 1.
  4. Nuttah has been kidnapped – about a month ago (more on that in future post).
  5. And lastly, sadly, Niko died on my birthday in 2017, and as Niko goes, so goes Tëme.

An internet picture to depict “The Elders”

So, the best way to deal with this backlog of story, I think, is to just start with now. So this is what is happening now. Today is Saturday, January 27, 2018. Sometimes when I write that year (2018), I just can’t believe it is actually that number, so far along. I hear other people saying it too, that what used to be a month now feels like a week of time. Like time is speeding up. I feel that every day; time just slips away, speeding along. I hear young people say it too, so I know it’s not just a factor of age. I think the only people not complaining are 10 and under.

Anyway, back to TODAY. We are home, it’s Saturday. We were expecting 3 things today:

1) A firewood delivery
2) Stewie dropping off the lion’s share of furnishings as part of his move-in process to the now-empty apartment
3) An electrician to wrap up a project that was supposed to take a day (we’re now more than a week into it, because of problems encountered with this 100 yr. old house, wiring and such).

Two of these events have already postponed: 1 & 2. The electrician I’m just waiting to hear from, but given the scenario, there is a good chance he will also postpone. Why, you might wonder? Because the elders have taken over the apartment. Bob went in there last night, he says he was met with strong resistance. He says it was obvious he was not wanted in there and he was shuffled right on out. Upstairs, there was a big noise. He came back to our part of the house a bit perturbed and asked me to go over and check it out. “NO!”, I said – I don’t like putting myself in the midst of that activity, on the chance that I would perceive it, it freaks me out a bit much, like walking into a room full of ghosts. Would you do it? I think not. So why are they there? Well Bob was ‘given’ a bit of a hint overnight in a dream. He was shown that they are there, and they ‘need’ the space to be left alone and empty for their purposes. How was this information conveyed? Why did Stewie postpone, why did Mike, who was bringing the firewood delivery, postpone? Somehow they – the elders – influenced all of that too. Bob got a text from Stew this morning, that he was not prepared yet (truck rentals, etc.) for it to happen today. Bob replied that he was shown last night that this would not happen today.

Here’s how the texting went back and forth:

Stewie: Pushing back the uhaul til tomorrow if that’s okay with you, realized I still have a bunch to prep for it, plus there’s no 17 footers available

Bob’s reply: I saw that last night

Stew: Huh?

Bob: There was activity last night in the apartment, and it was made clear that you would not be here today

Stew: Wow, how?

Bob: The old joints were having some ritual when I went in and made it clear that no one would be allowed in until it was complete, they would delay stuff to ensure that that would not happen, and they kicked me out, essentially.

I guess it was more or less no surprise then when Mike postponed the firewood delivery. So what is his relevance to this scenario? We don’t get firewood in the apartment and it’s delivered to the street on ‘our’ side of the house. But Mike, coincidentally, is also the person that ran the wall replacement project. We’ve been buying firewood from him ever since, so we’re on our 9th year with Mike. The wall is relevant, because it’s when all this activity started – or thereabouts. The electrician? Well, he hasn’t postponed yet, but maybe will because electrical activity might interfere with what they are doing?

Bob just walked in to a text from the electrician: he is “feeling under the weather”, and wants to reschedule to Monday.

So there you go… all three scheduled Saturday events have been ’caused’ to not happen so that the elders can conduct their business in peace. And what is their business? They are discussing the annual ceremony that takes place about this time every year; every year since (our year) 2013 anyway. So this would have been the 5 year anniversary celebration of saving the Lenape tribe from annihilation.  Bob was part of that time-travel foray into their time to assist both with strategizing and the actual event. So was Duke/Tëme/Niko; they were instrumental. I say “They”, but they exist in the body of one. As does Bob and his (their time) avatar. Hard to explain, I won’t get into the details of this now. But Bob believes that the elders are trying to remedy the problem of not having Nuttah there to perform the proper ceremony. Nuttah is now an important Shaman (woman), and because of that, she has been kidnapped. I will get into that in another post, because Bob (and avatar) has been part of that scenario as well. Nuttah has not been able to communicate much since her kidnapping and we don’t know where she is being ‘kept’. Prior to this, we did hear from her occasionally, enough to know that she still could and would communicate. All for future posts, I did document it all.

So you see, there is lots to post. I am overwhelmed in a way with the volume/magnitude of it, but all I can do is chip away slowly, one post at a time. And leave the elders to their important task.

If you want to catch up on the past events that led to the ceremony they have now at the beginning of every year, here is a link to the one I wrote up last year, which then includes links to the event that started it:



February 21, 2016

Dreams, Vibrations, and Bob hears Drums

Nuttah looks out the window

Nuttah & a heart; facing out the window toward the creek behind the house

Thursday night, February 18, coming home from work, I got out of my car in the driveway and immediately noticed the ‘hum/buzz’. I have not heard it in a LONG time, months really; a couple of times since fall, at best. I wondered momentarily what this was about now, as it kind of ‘followed’ me into the house. This was, at one time a couple years ago, a pretty daily event, but not so much now. Not sure what to attribute this to… maybe the ‘travel’ is hard on her as well. O r with her boy, now 3, she doesn’t ‘get out as much’. Or is this what the ‘buzz’ is even about? I often equated it to drumming or music from ‘their time’ bleeding over into ours. I mentioned to Bob that I’d heard it Thursday, I think this was Friday when I said this, and he told me then that he’d been hearing drums and music for almost 2 weeks. He hadn’t said anything til now so I was surprised. At about that time, I’d gone upstairs to our bedroom and I found that Nuttah was now on the air conditioner facing out the window, looking toward the creek in the back. There was a heart in front of her, pointed outward also and the picture is included here.

Dups arranged on table

The Niko-Duke-Teme-Teme combo that inhabits Niko, is again arranged with Bob’s stone on his bedside table.

Then on Saturday, we were doing stuff around the house, here and there; our usual Saturday chores and what-not. Bob had taken a clock-radio he found in the basement up to try out the radio on his side of the bed. He can’t get reception on his side well enough to hear Coast to Coast at night and sometimes he wishes he could, but this radio was no better. I went up a bit later and I noticed the dog-cutouts were again all arranged like they are in this picture. Bob said when he was testing the radio, they’d all been just laying around the table, knocked over since my last post about it Feb. 10.

The only other thing to mention is that in the early hours of dawn Saturday morning, I had an odd dream about a cat. It was not one of our cats (we still have two) but a similar one in black and white. What was notable about this dream is that it was apparent to me that the cat teleported somehow. Like it was in one world, and then suddenly it was in another, and the ‘other’ is the one I was seeing it in. I’m not sure how this was obvious, but again, it’s a dream, and that’s how dreams are. I’ve gotten much better at remembering them lately, but I’m making a specific effort about doing this every night, and then recording them when I can remember. It seems to get easier as you do.

Bob mentioned today that last night, he had one of his ‘travel through history’ dreams. He was flying over the places he ‘was shown’, and able to look from current times back through millenia into history. I wish he would write this up while fresh in his mind

December 4, 2013

Bob’s Recurring Dream is Realized

Okay, we have a new Pup. This new one makes 5 – yes, count them, FIVE dogs in our house. You might think it is totally nuts, and after my sleepless night of laying awake listening to new-pup’s excessive barking, I might say it’s crazy too. But how could we deny this one a home? Read on…

It started with a picture text I got from Bob while I was still at work and Bob was home. It was pretty hard to see, my phone displays pictures about as big as a postage stamp. It came in on 12/2 at 4:56 PM, with the message: “Dream issue has been resolved.”

I stared at this tiny picture on my phone, trying to glean what had happened, how had it been resolved? The pups in the picture looked like Niko, Red, and the new foundling, Sprite. Nothing new there.

At 4:57, I texted to Bob: “HOW was it resolved?”

Bob, 5:15 pm: “We have a new pup. That was the wolf pup (from the dream). He was being beaten by two dark men, jumped the fence when I stopped the car and ran to me with them in pursuit.”

6:25 pm: “Oh, so he’s ours now?”

(The time delay was because I was still at work and couldn’t do anything on my phone for a time.)

Finally, at about 8 PM or so, I was able to talk to Bob about what had happened. As Bob was leaving work on Monday, from the “not-too-nice area” where the plant is, he was pulling up to a stop sign with a couple of cars in front of him. Adjacent to him are several fenced-in vacant lots, some being used by residents for summer gardening, now abandoned and everything left has died and is just dry stalks, brush, gardening stakes, mixed with some bare straggly trees. In the midst of this, he saw two large black men pummeling a dog, like they were trying to kill it. Several things went through Bob’s mind about how he was going to intervene (it wasn’t “if” he was going to, it was “how”) but then, as he’s getting somewhat closer, the dog – a German Shepherd – locks eyes with him. As soon as the eyes locked, the shepherd had a resurgence of energy, despite the beating and the strength of these 2 brutes, and he somehow broke free. He scaled the fence in a deer-like leap, with a purple leash still attached and trailing behind him, thankfully not tripping him up on the fence-stakes. Bob, immediately realizing the metaphoric parallel to the dream he’s now had about 5 times, pushed open his passenger side door, the disgusting brutes in pursuit as nebulous dark shapes, and the dog makes a bee-line through the traffic and just hurls himself into Bob’s car, shaking and panting and totally freaked out. Bob reaches over, shuts and locks the door, and zooms off, with obscenities and gesticulations being hurled after him in his wake.

And that is why we now have 5 dogs, and why we feel a special connection to this new one also, especially because of Bob’s prophetic dream. It was interesting the way he immediately knew that “this was what it meant”, this was “the event” that he’d been dreaming. Metaphors, yes, but the “wolf-pup” dream nevertheless.

Another odd thing that happened, was that when Bob got him home to our house and first had him out in the yard with the other pups, (this introduction went surprisingly well), Bob looked back toward the house and all of a sudden, simultaneously, ALL the lights went on in the apartment. I asked Bob if he thought this was to indicate “approval”, and he agreed, that’s probably what it was. He had to go into the apartment, and turn off literally every light that is there, even the ceiling fan was turning. All had been off and dark when he’d gone outside.

That first night, however, with this new pup home was torture for me. He began in the basement; our other two shepherds sleep upstairs in the bedroom with us. The new addition started howling at about 3 AM or so. Then, after Bob left for work, he howled and barked non-stop. At about 4:30 AM, I finally went down and retrieved him from the basement. He was so freaked out still, he wouldn’t let me get near him. He was so shy, and so down-trodden, and so submissive, it was hard to get near him. I let him out in the yard, and I had visions of him leaping the fence again, I knew it would be an easy jump for a dog this big. He’s actually taller than Niko, but he’s so malnourished his ribs show. He is probably about 25 lbs. underweight. When I saw how completely scared and skittery he is, I was shocked that he just jumped into Bob’s car, like he knew him. Maybe in some strange way he did know him. After I brought him back in, I thought he’d be better upstairs with the other pups, so I brought him up to the bedroom. He ended up sleeping the next couple of hours on the bed, and that night, I got all but about 4 hours of decent sleep. It was an awful Tuesday as a result.

Tuesday morning, my first day with him, as I had them all out in the yard to “do their business”, I started calling him “Frank”, and Bob is calling him that too. Here is the skinny picture of “Frank”; sometimes to me, he looks more like a greyhound because he is so underweight, but I don’t think it will be too hard to bring him back. I just keep thinking of what his awful fate might have been if Bob had not appeared at that exact moment, but maybe in some way it was all “scripted”, and “meant to happen”. Obviously there is something at work here.

The new pup, "Frank". This was the pup from Bob's recurring dream.

The new pup, “Frank”. This was the pup from Bob’s recurring dream.

November 27, 2013

Nuttah drops in the day before Thanksgiving

Nuttah and her papoose, Bob's stone, a turtle and a sprig of asters are positioned above my keyboard.

Nuttah and her papoose, Bob’s stone, a turtle and a sprig of asters are positioned above my keyboard.

The next day, on November 27, 2013 at 7:14 AM, Bob wrote this email:

When I  came in from taking out the pups early this morning, I had a “sense” of something and both Niko and Red went to the office door and danced and whined in front of it to get in. I didn’t let them, instead sent them upstairs and put them back to bed and then went in to check out the office, but by then had no sense of anything. Didn’t look around because I don’t know how anything was to begin with, but didn’t sense anything. By the way, I had that same dream again last night. Woke at same point. Pretty cool.

My email back to Bob at 9:16 AM: I wonder what Niko and Red would have found, had you let them in the office, because we had a visit! I look at her character’s position every day when I walk in the office, and immediately coming in here I knew there had been a change. She now sits facing me from behind my keyboard, the turtle and her papoose are in front of her, your stone and a sprig of the now-wasted purple asters are literally on the keyboard, such that if I was to try to use those keys, I’d have to move the stuff. I will take and send a picture later, and of course write up a new blog entry. I wonder what this was about, since you didn’t sense anything. They were quiet when you brought them back up, they just settled right down and went to sleep.

Bob at 9:38 AM: Cool, so it must have been going on when I had  a “sense” of something, guess I should have gone in the office then. Just glad she is still with us. Kind of weirded out when I think about that dream of the scared wolf pup, I would like to see what it is that it is running from, just can tell it is something big and dark. Not pleasant I am sure.

So, to what do we owe this visit? The last time I was certain that she “dropped in” was October 25, which I wrote up in the post called “Oh no, Where did the Pups Go?” So it’s been almost exactly a month. I believe there might be a self-imposed limit on the contact, but we don’t know the reasons for that. I am still thinking that, when I have some time, I will create a whole new set of characters, even all 4 of the pups just to see where things stand now. I think she needs some new inspiration to work with. I guess for now, that no news is good news.

November 26, 2013

Bob keeps having the same dream

Bob wrote me this email on November 26, 2013, 5:54 AM: I took a quick nap yesterday before leaving work, something I try to do everyday so I don’t fall asleep driving. Had a weird dream that I didn’t think anything of, just a weird dream, but then I had the same dream last night. Each time I startle awake at the crucial point, which I am glad about.

A Lenape hut that might fit the description in Bob's dream

A Lenape hut that might fit the description in Bob’s dream

It goes something like this, I am in some sort of makeshift shelter, thatch and branches type thing. It is dusk and I am working on windings of an arrow (fastening arrowhead to shaft) by a small fire just outside of shelter, I am in doorway. All of a sudden there is a major commotion and I look up and see an apparently young wolf pup, pretty much grown but obviously fairly young, running at me, but it is immediately clear that he is not attacking but that he is scared, confused and tuned up. I jump up and try to see what is going on, I see something BIG a fair way back crashing through the woods, after the pup. I can’t see what it is, but it is big and very dark. The wolf-pup runs by me and right into the shelter. I start getting ready for an encounter and as it comes crashing out of nowhere I wake up. Adrenalin pumping, but no idea what it is about. Fairly unnerving. I already have enough trouble staying asleep, don’t need that.

A Lenape arrow, perhaps made of jasper, showing the binding to the shaft

A Lenape arrow, perhaps made of jasper, showing the binding to the shaft

Me, 8:32 PM: That dream, especially twice, is definitely something. Saturday, I had brought Nuttah flowers back from my walk (there were still some purple asters in isolated spots), and usually that sparks something, but not this time. I’m concerned. Your dream makes me more concerned.

Does the dream mean something, I wonder? It would most certainly seem so, given the topic and also that he’s now had it at least 4 or 5 times. It is always the same scene, and always ends at exactly the same point when he wakes up. I’m not exactly sure that I want to know what this one means, or to see the outcome. Maybe it is just a warning.

October 18, 2013

More Flowers, and Bob Dreams his History

Nuttah brings flowers, October 15: White Asters

Nuttah brings flowers, October 15: White Asters

On the evening of Tuesday, October 15, 2013, I came in from work and went into my office to deposit my things from the day. Much to my surprise, there is a little display to the left of my keyboard! It is Nuttah, her papoose and FLOWERS!! To the right is one of the pictures that I took that evening. I did put the flowers in water, they are tiny white asters. There has not been a freeze yet, so it makes sense that we’d still have some flowers blooming outside. After all, LAST year, I got flowers in December. Curiously, they were the same exact flowers then, and almost in the same condition. Which means we must have had a pretty warm fall for them to be still around in December. Here is the link to that episode, in December of 2012.

Of note, the papoose (wish I had his name!) is going to be a 1-yr.-old soon. November 17 is his birthday. What a world Papoose was born into that November a year ago – with Nuttah and what remained of her tribe on the run for the entire winter, living in caves and in hiding, scrounging food and not being able to start a fire for fear of discovery. It was a miracle that any of them survived.

I grabbed this picture from the internet. It is not exactly the "era" that Bob dreamed, but you get the idea of the "War Dog"

I grabbed this picture from the internet. It is not exactly the “era” that Bob dreamed, but you get the idea of the “War Dog”

Then, a couple of days later, on Friday, October 18, Bob sent this email at 6:30 AM:
Had a weird dream. I was involved in some sort of battle that took place in Europe, time was somewhere around the 10-11th century, I think. I seemed to know what everything was meant for, including the design of the building I was in, which I was trying to defend. It was, I think the home/fortress of a wealthy landowner; I was employed as a mercenary. I had a BIG war dog as my companion. It was kind of a hopeless situation, and the landowner was an asshole. Pretty rude situation. It went on, but I don’t have the time to go into now. Not that it matters, if it is a dream, I will forget it by tonight anyway.

Later, Bob sends me this: I forgot to mention, my name in the dream was Robert Bock, or Bauch, but I think, Bock and it was a tudor-style building, so it must have been 15th century. But it is a dream, so I can be when and who I want!

I wrote back to Bob at 8:53 AM:
Interesting dream. Did you have the sense of a “re-living” dream or a regular dream? I guess what I am asking, is did it somehow feel different, or seem different than a usual dream? Maybe only in that you remembered so much detail, but was there anything else? Really interesting. My dream remembering technique hasn’t worked at all since I made that post about it. I know I am dreaming, but I am not remembering at all. You should really read those books I read recently about the middle ages. The first book took place in 12th c. England, the 2nd was in the 14th. But not much changed in how people lived in 200 yrs. then, big massive changes didn’t seem to come until these past 2 centuries, and now it changes radically in only decades. You would enjoy them, good winter reading by the stove, very engrossing. I suggest because there were characters in them living like your Robert Bock seemed to have lived, in same position, and of course the wealthy landowner also, and peasantry. You might find some things that spark a memory.

Now me just narrating: I am talking about the Ken Follett Books: Pillars of the Earth and World Without End. (hope the links work). Excellent reading, made much more interesting to find out that one of Bob’s lives was seemingly in that era!

Can you imagine dreaming your past lives? In some ways I think this is the coolest thing, and I am envious, in other ways, I wonder if it’s something you really want to know. I think I do (want to know), but what if the information is really disturbing? Bob has “been shown” at least 3 of his past lives, some have been incredibly violent, as most lives probably were prior to our current history. I don’t know the meaning of these dreams/revelations, it is just something to note that is happening, kind of in the realm of all the other stuff that is happening. Will have to try to interpret as time and events move on.

October 14, 2013

Another (the 3rd?) ceremony to honor Niko

Lenape-Turtle-LogoBob wrote this email Saturday morning, 10/13, 8:19 AM:
Had a dream last night. The honoring Niko dream again, only this time Niko/Teme/dukey was at the north cardinal point, covered in some sort of white robe. An emblem on a banner that looked like a white bird, very stylized was held over him by a young boy. Nuttah at the east in red predominant adornment,  she had her baby with her. Old man in yellowish adornments to south and a big joint to the west in primarily blackened clothing. My vantage point was in the middle. All directions offering obeisance,  I think that is right, to the north. Very serious, solemn affair. Remember feeling awe. Nuttah looked healthy, her baby is looking strong and healthy. Lot of pledges to always honor from directional points. Pretty interesting dream. Woke with Niko staring at me around 3:20.

A graphic from the website:, the United Eastern Lenape Nation

A graphic from the website:, the United Eastern Lenape Nation

Email from Bob the next morning on October 14, 2013:
I have an increasingly different view of Niko after each incident, may just be delusional, but I see glimpses of things with him that are much deeper than the obvious bond. It is very humbling at moments of recognition. Can’t really explain it, I just know that what we “know” is not all there is, not even a terribly important part of what is.

Me, 10:14 AM: Curious what’s going on with Niko. As I was typing up and posting the stuff that happened in July, I was getting a feeling of something much deeper and significant, but it was eluding me. Maybe it will all become apparent as time goes on.

Walking Red in the local woods

Walking Red in the local woods

Now me just narrating: I do hope that this work honoring Niko has an effect on his behavior. This has been about the 3rd “ceremony” to honor him. I am guessing that there will be four, due to the directional points. There has not been any incident since July, thankfully, and we are now halfway through October. Of course, there is also the fact that we are limiting his contact with virtually anyone, due to the potential of an issue. He seems to be better with the addition of “Red”, the other shepherd. She is the one we are convinced was “brought” to us, possibly to help Niko. There is also yet another dog in our midst now, plenty of pups for the shepherds to herd. Four dogs, two cats, do you think it’s getting out of hand? Dog #4 was a flea-bitten stray that looked on the verge of death when Bob found him curled up in a ball on our property. We kept an eye out for signs in case anyone had lost him or was looking for him, but the way he appeared, his fur about an inch think in flea “dirt”, we really did not think anyone was taking care of him or was much interested in his welfare. He was also completely deaf, so it was a relative mystery how he’d survived. Maybe he was just “meant to be here” as well. We named him “Sprite”. All 4 dogs get along, and we just keep the cats separated and everything is fine.

September 25, 2013

Bob Experiences another Ceremony to Honor Niko

The night of September 23rd, we both had a perfectly lousy night of sleep. The dogs all had gotten a new batch of fleas, and although we’d treated them, it had not yet taken effect. It was a miserable night of scratching for them, and sleep interruption for us. How long does it take these flea meds to work! Then, to compound that problem, some strange animal was making noise right outside our window. It would get very close, somewhere in the yard, then move away. It was making the oddest, saddest sound, but didn’t sound like it was being harmed or attacked. I have no idea what this strange creature was. Then, Bob had a dream: another ceremonial dream honoring Niko.

Bob’s email to me the next morning:
“Rough night of sleep, starting with the dogs scratching then the ceremonial dream, then the dogs scratching, then the noise outside, then the dogs scratching. Tell me what to get and I will do it on way home. I will make vet appointment too. They have to be miserable.  Then the dogs scratching….and whining.”

Later, Bob was to elaborate on the ceremonial dream he had:

“The ceremony was interesting because now they have incorporated a little bit of the stuff from the spring celebration and honoring of the guys that got rid of my “buddy”.  Also the merging of the wolf/turtle tribes. Teme/Dukey/Niko and my avatar were put at the north point with a collar of white feathers on each. There was a woman in yellow dried flowers directly across facing us. To the right or west was another old woman covered in some brackish tar like substance and some blue feathers and other stone of blue holding a deer skull with antlers. Then there was Nuttah in red face paint with a snake skin necklace and turtle shell pendant and wolf skin. All surrounded by the tribe with drums rattles and something else I couldn’t see but sounded flute-like. Lots of words said and bowing and offering to sky. It ended with a solemn walk away from the cross to another large fire at the end of the village. Then they broke into a feast…  I, of course, didn’t get to stay for that. Anyway, hope you slept well.”

And my email back to Bob, 9:04 AM: I don’t know what that animal or bird is, I heard it one time before, it was across the creek one night when I had the pups out late. It freaked me out. As loud as it was in bedroom, you should hear it outside, when you’re not expecting it. Gave me chills and hurried me right in. I tried to spot something with flashlight, but couldn’t. Last night it sounded like it was up high, and the sound also moved around, which would mean it’s not necessarily a “distress” sound, unless it was being hauled away. Guess it could have been something caught by a night bird.

Great ceremony! I was trying to tie in what you described with the arrangement left on my desk: I brought the four clover points in on Sunday, and arranged them in a cross. Nuttah then elaborated on it, as pictured below. She now sits at the point closest me, opposite her is the paper heart, the other 2 points have the pewter turtle with a stone heart atop, and also a wolf pup, and opposite that point is your stone. I will send you a picture. I tried to interpret it last night to no avail. Wish you could have stayed for feast, wonder what that would have been like to taste that food. You never have, have you, tasted the food?

Here is a picture of the arrangement that I found on my desk after Bob’s description of the ceremony. I can only hope that these ceremonial events will somehow help Niko (and the others he carries with him) to recover:

Nuttah's illustration of the Ceremony to Honor Niko

Nuttah’s illustration of the Ceremony to Honor Niko

July 8, 2013

The ritual to help Niko’s behavior

After the bite incident, Kate continued to recover, and Bob and I were severely admonished for “betraying” Niko. This was evident almost immediately, and I was in complete confusion and denial as to why. How were we betraying Niko? I put it out of my mind, since I thought the way we reacted was appropriate and necessary. I really wasn’t sure what part of it was being objected to. It was literally the first time in 3 years that I’d questioned anything about Nuttah’s judgment. It just didn’t make any sense. Kate was doing well, and in my opinion, that was really all that mattered. We would deal with Niko as time went on, so Bob appealed to Nuttah for help with this odd behavior. It went along the lines of “What is the problem, and what can we do to help him?”

Monday morning, July 8, at 7 AM, Bob wrote me this email:

“I asked again last night, I think I might have had some response: I was shown an intensity of fear that was instantaneous and it just as quickly dissipated. The intensity was shown to me and then equated to my most intense negative emotional moment in my entire life. That was something I didn’t want to relive, I still have a slight hangover from that re-experience. I am not sure that it is anything more than a dream, seems so long since I have had any connection that I doubt myself on this.

Duke with his favorite ball and his reflective collar

Duke with his favorite ball and his reflective collar

It was only initially through Nuttah that I “saw” what was going on and how to approach it. The larger part was through the old joints and Tëme. There is a “ritual”: I have a hard time seeing myself doing it, or at least doing it with sincerity, and that is apparently important. It also involves a talisman from a former embodiment, a necklace or something from Dukey, something that contains some of his energy. I don’t know what that is to be, all we have is his toys, can’t see how I am to tie a ball around Niko or whatever. I feel stupid even writing this. Really can’t see me doing any ritual with sincerity, which sort of defeats the purpose. Anyway, I will try, but can’t believe Niko will walk around with a ball hanging off him willingly.

I may have to do it several times and I certainly won’t be doing it in public. Also, I am supposed to say it in a derivation of Lenape, not completely Lenape, sort of a sacred language that I think contained some Maya words, Manche Chol dialect to be precise. That will be interesting. I guess it could be equated to computer language, writing code to correct or change a program, when I say it that way it doesn’t sound so stupid. Regardless I will try… in private.

Later, same day, at 9:07 AM, my email back to Bob:

“Well, there are two things that might work for this “talisman”, that I came across lately, if I am interpreting this ritual and what it’s about correctly. For one, we have Dukey’s collar; it has his name on it, and I also have a little bag of hair that came from him. Maybe the collar alone would work? If necessary, I could sew a little pouch to it that contained the hair. Does it have to be a ball hanging off him or just something attached to him? Can you describe better what the problem is, what the fear is? I hope this will work. Any contact Niko has with anyone now makes me very nervous, and you can’t get around the fact that he has bitten people in the face three times, at least that we know of. In the past, and without his history as part of what’s going on here, I wouldn’t have tolerated that for a second. I can only rationalize letting him stay because he is somehow part of everything, and seems to be here for a bigger purpose. Because there is simply nothing rational about it, especially three times. But we’ll see how this goes, I wouldn’t assume it was a dream, it sounds good to me. Just start working on it. What do you have to do that would be embarrassing to be seen doing?

Email from Bob, later same morning, 9:37 AM:
We have Dukey’s collar?! Leave it out for me. I was thinking all we had was old toys, couldn’t see that working. Something very traumatizing happened to him at a very young age, equated the level of emotional response to me. I don’t know what it is, but it is extreme. I will start tonight, he has done too much for us, apparently more than we know, to not help him.

Me at 10:49 AM:
Funny, I was just going to get the collar from where I put it and leave it out for you, and it was gone. I had put the collar on the shelves against the wall where my knitting and stuff is. I thought, “Great, just when we need it, it’s gone”. But then I had this thought, “Maybe it is already on Niko?” I went to go check, and as I turned to go, I spotted the collar: it had been moved to the table in front of the big screen TV. Right there, where you couldn’t miss it if watching. Now I was watching something on that TV last night and I think I would have noticed if the collar was sitting there. Anyway, I have it, I’ll leave it out. We’ll work with him. What is it that you have to do?

Bob, later, 11:09 AM:
“So you are saying the collar was moved? We/I have to perform, repeatedly, a ceremony honoring him for all he has done to protect us, to honor him for having given himself up in order to be with us, to honor him for his willingness to die for our safety, to honor him for his willingness to confront his only fear to be among us. Those are the four points I must honor. I have to do this each in proper order to the four cardinal points. I have to do it for 5 cycles. That means once a month. It was also made shamefully clear (having a feeling of shame/embarrassment right now acknowledging this to you) that Nuttahs’ father would never have abandoned or forsaken a friend, nor would any man of honor. Makes me kind of sick to my stomach to acknowledge those feelings. Anyway, I will do what I can. I don’t know that I am capable.”

Well, the bottom line is, that it is worth a try if it can possibly help him.

June 12, 2013

Learning to Remember Dreams

Around mid-June, I started working on some exercises to help me remember dreams. When I do the exercises, such as they are (not difficult at all) it usually does work. Sometimes, I am just too tired, I can literally fall asleep in seconds these days. (Staying asleep is another issue, but I can fall asleep as soon as I turn off the TV). Anyway, I digress… the exercises. I learned these from a guest on Coast to Coast AM. I talk about this program a lot, I know I’ve mentioned that I podcast it so I can listen while I drive to and from work. This guest was Rosemary Ellen Guilley, and I believe it was the show that aired May 6, 2013. I made some notes about her techniques, and if you try at least the first 2 steps, you will probably start immediately remembering dreams. She uses the word “D-R-E-A-M”, and each letter is one of the steps. I can give you the first 2, because those are the ones I remember, and they are the ones that will do the most: the “D” means: “Declare that you will dream that night”. Just the act of declaration “I declare that I will dream tonight” will begin the process. The “R” then is “Remember”: “I will remember the dreams I have tonight”. That’s a place to start. If you really want to find out what the “E-A-M” meant, you can listen to the show. I don’t use them anyway, and I still remember my dreams, much more than I did. Whenever I do it with “intention”, it really does seem to work. One day I will progress beyond the “D” and the “R”, I hope. Or maybe even get into what they call “lucid dreaming”, which is how I hope to eventually visit Nuttah, since I seem incapable of what Bob is able to do. My whole point here, to these exercises, is to try to interpret something out of the unconscious world to lend some sense to our conscious world. I will keep trying.